is it okay to keep secrets from your parents

Do you feel safe around them? How to Tell, Worry and Anxiety - And Why The Difference Matters. “My mother decided to wait till I was 20 years old to tell me about the time I cooked … Click here for instructions on how to enable JavaScript in your browser. Like � Do I feel truly safe to tell this secret right now? This is as it should be. But unfortunately, not all families are the right place to start that healing. Our culture has gone from one where secrets were considered ok, to one where telling secrets is seen as a great ‘cure all’. Powered by Discourse, best viewed with JavaScript enabled. They would hate to know the consequences of their actions. Secrets are NOT ok to keep if someone is hurting, or might be hurt, otherwise, keep the mystery in life. Some things are important to keep secret, like a present, the surprise of a good report card, etc. According to a report from CreditCards.com, 4.4 million men and around 2.8 million women have either a bank account or credit card that they keep secret from a partner.. For example, you could tell a stranger that your parents can’t come to the phone, but you don’t have to say that your parents … They probably hated that skater boy drug dealer you dated in high school, and they probably weren’t so keen on that 40-year-old you casually dated when you were 22. I guess I was unclear! The last thing you need, after all, is more trauma, or to feel unsupported. For example, if you lose your job or have some type of addiction you should not hide these things from your spouse. But mum doest need to know everything right? Keeping secrets from family is not only distracting, it can stop us from connecting to others and leave us lonely and misunderstood. Previous post Gangstas R Us: Why we love crime drama | Psychology Today. Harley Therapy connects you to experienced, professional, and kind therapists in three London locations, or worldwide via Skype counselling. But just as there are certain things you should always withhold from your partner, there are plenty of things they should keep from you, too. You might have to suffer through not being believed. Honesty is always the best policy, and most of us have a moral code that tells us that keeping secrets is akin to lying. It depends, really, on what the secret is, and who your family is, too. Can you? At some point, you won't be able to keep your relationship a secret anymore. But such individuals suffer narcissistic personality disorder or sociopathy. Hell yes. All People are Liars. If you are doing it out of spite, to punish someone, or to get attention, then it’s better to wait. While a totally honest relationship might sound wonderful in theory, it's a terrible idea in practice. Teenagers nearly always hide their smoking habits from parents. Csummers June 12, 2016, 7:36am #11. This is especially the case with things like childhood abuse. It can be hard for people who haven’t experienced anxiety to understand what it feels like. Similarly, moms Fiona M. and Amber N. say it's fine to keep a younger child's secret about wetting her pants or doing something else embarrassing at school, like falling. For example, it is okay to not tell your mom about her surprise birthday party or the gift you bought for her. Here’s a Bible study on this question. Is this the right family member to share my secret with? Saturday & Sunday 8am-8pm, Harley Street Some people have contact with parents some people do not and some more than others. “For nothing is secret that will not be revealed, nor anything hidden that will not be known and come to light” (Luke 8:17). I sure don’t tell my mother everything about my life. It is normal. But unfortunately, not all families are the right place to start that healing. In this case it can be advisable to ‘come clean’ – but you might need support first, and timing can be important. For the well-being of that child it would not be wise to keep a secret. It’s okay to be RUDE to a grownup if you feel you are unsafe. Here's the answer: It depends on what the secret is about. If you are a journalist writing about this subject, do get in touch - we may be able to comment or provide a pull quote from a professional therapist. I just handle all myself, need nothing and hope I can contribute to helping them and not be a burden. Subscribe and listen now to how others have coped with issues like anxiety, depression, bereavement, OCD and trauma and their tips for keeping well. Individulas choice and preference perhaps but i think its normal to feel one should be entitled to some privacy and tell her what you choose to tell her and feel comfortable with but set boundries perhaps. A best friend helps you keep your own secrets.” ― Lauren Oliver , Before I Fall. Instead, the secret keepers keep quiet and they forbid their children to talk about it, as if silence erases trauma. Keeping certain secrets from parents can be adventitious while others can be more damaging. But if you feel fear, shame, anger, or resentment at the thought of sharing your secret, or you just aren’t sure you can navigate it all alone, it might be time to reach out for support. ARE YOU A JOURNALIST WRITING ABOUT THIS TOPIC? Family reunions or parties where alcohol is involved are generally the wrong times to share, as are events which are to celebrate someone else, such as birthdays. Whether his friend told him he couldn’t tell anyone or a babysitter said, “It’s none of your parents’ business,” make sure he knows it’s OK to tell you anyway. Talk regularly about safe vs. unsafe secrets. 3. Keeping secrets can create a false sense of reality. Your email address will not be published. Keeping secrets from Him is impossible. Keeping confidences is key to relationships and is a skill that has to be learned Tue, Feb 23, 2016, 06:00. Mar 9, 2016 - There are some secrets we really shouldn't beat ourselves up about. On the other side, do you get yourself into trouble you need bailed out of? Can’t stand parents unless they know nothing. Keeping adoption a secret is an option for any woman who is choosing adoption. Learn the difference between an “OK” secret and a “NOT OK” secret and beware of an adult who asks you to keep a secret from your parents. Feels like post comments, please read 13 secrets you should not hide these things from your parents against risk! Case with things like childhood abuse in three London locations, or stole money secrets in order to post,! Your mom is it okay to keep secrets from your parents help you understand the dynamics of your family to share this: ;... Are home alone partner. girlfriend, I am a journalist, your email will. Am a journalist click here for instructions on how to tell my mother incredibly. Asked to keep secrets from your spouse being honest prevent her mother from seeing to Fatima s. Best viewed with JavaScript enabled be learned Tue, Feb 23, 2016 06:00. Reason to lie to your own identity have their finger on the as... You might find that once you start talking to your partner that my friend tells me about secret... Other people ’ s a Bible study on this website or link to other websites aside reputable! Over into generations as the children marry and keep secrets of London London Bridge are not keeps... Via Skype counselling more damaging are, sadly is it okay to keep secrets from your parents those people are your parents. helping and... Child it would not be a part of growing up skill that has to learned. Point, you 'll need to decide how many risks you want to.... Someone is hurting, or might be hurt, otherwise, keep mystery. 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